Above, Sienna is sleeping in her big girl bed (which happens to be a princess bed) for the very first time. This photo was not taken last night, but thankfully, she slept all night long and came into our bed at about 6:30 a.m. I praise the Lord for that because she usually only spends about two hours in her own bed. God smiled upon me as I really needed some recuperative rest.
The Lord replied, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” ~Exodus 33:14
God’s Control
I have been missing Weston today. I went shopping with my mom today and I am reminded of Weston with all the going ons with the holidays. It is certainly not the same. This may sound weird because I never spent Christmas with Weston or his family. I am just really feeling the pain of losing Weston and my grief counselor thinks that I am dealing with a lot of survivor’s guilt. Last week at the close of my support group, the counselor who leads the group asked if I could come and talk with her one on one next week. So, now I am wondering if maybe I am a little “off my rocker” (is that the right cliche?)? I’ll keep you posted.
Even still, I have to believe that I am dealing with this loss of Weston (and the loss of Zoe) as God intends. During other troubles in my life, I have leaned upon the Lord, but only weakly. I have given my burden to Him, but have taken it back. With this storm in my life, I have leaned upon Him wholeheartedly and without fail. For that, I can only believe that I am grieving and reacting as I am meant to. He is in control and I have to give Him all of the honor, glory, and praise for His work in my life.
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future. ~Ecclesiastes 7:14
I keep coming back to this verse because it applies to almost every aspect of life. We all want the goodness of God with none of the “bad.” That is not how it works with God. He brings every good and bad thing that occurs in our lives. He has a purpose and plan for our lives, we simply have to trust Him. Even now, when trials come (on a daily basis) I am brought back to the Lord to give Him praise and thank Him for His work in me. Typically, I would want the trial to be over–and quickly. Now, I embrace the journey that God has set out for me-painful or peaceful, sweet or somber. I praise Him for His control over my journey.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. ~Pslam 62:8
